Reflections of a CPA turned stay-at-home mom as I "journey toward heaven"

Going to See Jesus

Daniel and the kids were in the dining room, and I was in the kitchen making breakfast, when Mara got her “perkle [purple] bag” and hopped on her tricycle, announcing, “Mara going on a long trip. Mara going to see JE-sus!”

It makes sense that she would want to see Him. We read her stories over and over of how Jesus helped people. We look at pictures of Jesus holding children and tell her that Jesus loves her too. She can even sing the first verse and chorus of “Jesus Loves Me” all by herself.  She believes He is real! So we watched as she “walked” her tricycle [she doesn't know how to pedal yet] into the living room and then sat there on it, looking around expectantly–for Jesus, of course.

After a moment, we heard her exclaim, in a perplexed voice: “Jesus not here!”

Of course, that’s where it gets complicated. I figured I could explain it to her this way: “Jesus is far, far away in heaven. We can’t see him.”

“Mara go to heaven,” she decided. “See Jesus.” Poor child, I guess that would be the next logical step.

Daniel muttered something to me about not wanting Mara to go to heaven just yet, and then said, “Actually, Mara, Jesus is right here!–With us!” Mara looked more perplexed than ever.

I think we will have to finish this discussion when Mara is a little older!

“Hear, My Son . . .”

One of my goals this year is to read through the Bible again.hearson3 At first, I was a little skeptical if this goal was realistic with two small children since I have little quiet time or alone time during this season of life. But a friend (homeschooling mom of four, ages 7 and under) encouraged me, even when I don’t have time to get alone to read, I can read the Bible out loud to my children. (Why didn’t I think of that?)

Despite the fact that my reading truly is more meaningful and I am better able to internalize it when I am alone, much of the time I end up reading out loud. But hey! I am reading my Bible, and my kids are listening! It’s a win-win scenario.

Lately I have been reading through Proverbs. I have read through Proverbs dozens of times, but never before have I been so moved by its truths.

Much of the book is Solomon imparting wisdom to his son. Often I’m reading during Mara’s nap, while Micah is awake. So it’s just me with my Bible and my son playing on a blanket on the floor. I can’t explain it fully, but this time has almost become my personal prayer time for Micah.

Hear, O son, a father’s [or mother's] instruction,
and be attentive, that you may gain insight,
for I give you good precepts;
do not forsake my teaching.
When I was a son with my father,
tender, the only one in the sight of my mother,
he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words;
keep my commandments, and live.
Get wisdom; get insight;
do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will keep you;
love her, and she will guard you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
and whatever you get, get insight.
Prize her highly, and she will exalt you;
she will honor you if you embrace her.
She will place on your head a graceful garland;
she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”

hearson4As I read, I think of the challenges that Micah will inevitably face, if the Lord allows Him to live long enough to become a man. I can get overwhelmed by it all if I’m not trusting God–the temptations of friends, the seductions of our media, the devastating effects of pornography and immorality. Even good things (like work) can become tear you down, with the desires for position, power and wealth. More than anything, I long for my son to love God with all his heart, soul and mind; and to pursue God’s glory with all of his life!
So as I watch my infant son–who is oblivious to and largely untouched by the corruption that plagues our world–my reading becomes intensely personal–almost a prayer:

Help Micah to hear, and accept my words,
that the years of his life may be many.
May I teach him the way of wisdom;
and lead him in the paths of uprightness.
When he walks, may his steps not be hampered,
and if he runs, help him not to stumble.

Help him to keep hold of instruction; not to let it go;
to guard her, for she is his life.
May Micah not enter the path of the wicked,
and not walk in the way of evil.

May he avoid it; not go on it;
turn away from it and pass on.
For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong;
they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.
For they eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day.

May Micah’s path shine this way!

The way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know over what they stumble.

Even though Micah is too young to understand, I direct my words to him. I passionately implore him as I read:

My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.

Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.

Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.

hearmysonI look up from my Bible at my 9-month-old son, who has been entertained while I read with the rings on his Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack. . . There is something incredibly precious about the innocence that is youth. And yet it all seems so precarious, because of the fallen world in which we live.

Little Micah doesn’t understand yet. He just looks at me with the biggest smile, because I’m talking to him–so he thinks he has my attention. He does. But I’m not thinking of the baby Micah who is playing in front of me with colorful rings on the Rock-a-Stack. My mind is years down the road, having said “Hear God’s words, Micah!” more times than either of us could count. The Micah I’m thinking of is a grown man with a heart that seeks wisdom and understanding, and follows hard after God, whose path is like the “light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until the full day.”hearson2

The Big Snow of March 2009

mjsnowtongue

The entire Eastern United States was blanketed with snow for the past couple of days. We had about 6 inches here. As young as my children are, we didn’t stay out long because it was only 23 degrees, but I snapped a few pictures for the memory books!

micahmakingsnowangelMara absolutely loved the snow!

I thought Micah might enjoy making a snow angel. Not so much. He cried, so I held him to comfort him and keep him warm the rest of the time.

Here are my two little snow buddies!

twosnowbuddies

Dating (on a Budget) As a Married Couple with Littles

As new parents, my husband and I are quickly learning how rare, how expensive–and yet how essential!–it has become for us to spend time together as a couple. We have tried to enjoy “quality time” together with the kids. But if our two-year-old isn’t insisting that she needs to go potty during dinner, she is bringing us books to read or asking an endless string of questions beginning with “Why, Daddy?” And during meals, our nine-month-old takes center stage, either gagging on the latest vegetable I’m introducing or reaching for my plate and doing Neanderthal grunts, as if to ask why I am offering him strained puree in lieu of the real food the rest of us are eating. As important as this family time is, quality time as a couple becomes even more critical with children!

If friends or family offer to babysit, take them up on it! Hiring babysitters is incredibly expensive and can easily double the cost of your date!

We are blessed to have nearby grandparents and a teenage aunt (who loves spending time with our kids!). Although they all lead very busy lives, they have helped with the kids more times than I can count–particularly last summer while I was on bedrest and during my son’s NICU stay.

We are also blessed to have an engaged couple in our church who has offered to babysit our kids once a month, so we can go out on a “real” date. Such a thoughtful idea! and so giving of their most precious commodity–time! (We think they may be experimenting on our children, before they have their own!–but we have taken them up on that offer the past two months.)

Save restaurant gift cards for dates and use coupons whenever possible.

For our January date, we used a gift card we were given for Christmas (another wonderful gift idea!). The couple that babysits for us also brought us a handful of coupons for local restaurants. (They had one of those “buy-one-get-one-free” coupon books and weren’t going to use all the coupons.) Again–incredibly thoughtful!! and so practically helpful, when we are trying not to spend money frivolously, but we still need that time together as a couple. Those dates have felt like our first “real” dates, since pre-kids!

For more deals, go to Dealnews.com and search “restaurants.” Restaurants.com often offers discounted gift certificates–right now they are cutting 65% off any gift certificate with the coupon code “SAVINGS”.

Find time in both of your schedules for “mini-dates” now and then.

A date is primarily to spend time together, enjoy each other’s company, or talk through things with just the two of you–no babies crying or toddlers placing toys that sing on your lap. “Mini-dates” don’t have to include dinner or cost money.

Sometimes we purposefully spend time together after the kids are in bed. Maybe eating a piece of cheesecake or drinking a smoothie. Maybe watching something together on TV or just chatting about our day.

My favorite mini-date is an early-morning cup of coffee at home! My husband is a morning person, and by the time he gets home from work, we eat dinner and put the kids to bed, he is really winding down. It’s rare for us to have a profitable, serious conversation (about finances, things that need to be done around the house, rearing the kids, etc.) late in the evening. He also has an unusual work schedule–some days he goes in at 7 a.m., other days he goes in at 11 a.m. Looking at our schedules, we realized that the kids stay in bed until about 7 a.m. (whether they are awake or not), so we could take some of those mornings when he goes to work late, brew a pot of coffee around 6 or 6:30 a.m. and sit and talk, even if it’s just for a few minutes before the kids wake up.

Be purposeful about dating your spouse!

I’m a new mom, but older women I respect keep reminding me that in 20 or 30 years, the kids will be gone, and it will once again be just my dear hubby and me. So I want to make the most important relationship in my life a top priority!

Hop on over to The Happy Housewife and read “Date Nights at Home,” for more ideas on how to have a frugal yet special date at home!