It seems almost impossible for me (as a mom of a 3yo and 19 month-old) to coordinate (from my “manager’s office” in bed) everything that needs to be happening for this young family. And we are blessed with the best of help.

But life happens. So for now, stuff continually falls through the cracks. I’m desperately trying to be okay with that, for my own sanity, and so my family can stand to live with me.

Which is why I need to be okay with my son wearing his shoes on the wrong feet or wearing a shirt too small, with sleeves that barely reach his elbows, or pants too long that continually drop to the floor. . .

And why I have to be okay with snowy footprints people have tracked in on the hardwoods (I can’t mop) and crumbs all over the dining room floor after lunch (I can’t sweep) and toys everywhere (I’m not supposed to squat or bend down)!

But, despite the fact that in the moment this stuff seems so overwhelming, when I stop to really think, it’s actually rather mundane–not incredibly blog-worthy–just part of bedrest life.

So while I want to say ‘not me,’ I really just need to “Deal!” as my three-year-old tells me.

Last week though, I experienced a genuine “Not Me!” moment. The kids’ baths have been falling through the cracks. This is one I have trouble dealing with. It’s basic toddler hygiene, you know. And one of those things they just can’t do for themselves yet.

One morning, from my bedrest post on the couch, I caught a whiff of my three-year-old daughter and called to my husband (from the living room to the kitchen). “Daniel! Mara stinks—like poop! It’s been six days since the kids have had baths now!” I’m sure my voice was a bit edgy, since I was already annoyed about the whole bath thing. As soon as I said it, I knew I had made a big mistake.

My poor poor child looked completely dejected and deflated, as she spoke in a hushed voice, “I don’t ‘stink–like poop’.”

Then Mara picked up her phone to call her imaginary friend (Tosta) who apparently sleeps on the twin bed in her room, when there are no guests staying with us.

“Hi, Tosta,” she said. “My mom and dad say I ‘stink like poop.’–I don’t ‘stink like poop’! . . . I need your help, Tosta. . .  Please help me. Bye.”

She pressed the button to end the imaginary phone call, glancing at me with hurt in her eyes.

I did not know what to do or say. It was true! I wished I hadn’t said it, but now I couldn’t take it back. So I just hugged her and told her she would have a bath today, and she would smell nice after her bath.

Then I walked into the kitchen and collapsed (crying) in my husband’s arms. . . .

Surely I’m not the mom whose kids went six days without baths.

Surely I’m not the mom who yelled through the house in front of her daughter that she stunk like poop!

Surely my daughter isn’t the one who has to call her imaginary friend for support when Mom insults her . . .

A definite “not me” moment.

My three-year-old, adding a whole new dimension to Mom’s “bedrest”

My 19-month-old son, making a call to Dad

(who–lucky for Mom–is working from home today).

Son needs to explain his missing pants and missing shoe

. . . and how all those Pampers escaped from their box.

For More Wordless Wednesday, hop over to Five Minutes for Mom. And if you’d like some tips for having fun with toddlers while on bedrest, check out my previous post “Doing Fun Things With Mommy on Bedrest.”

So, yes, I ended up back in L&D triage this afternoon. After strong contractions four minutes apart through the early (sleepless) morning hours, and then waking up with contractions (not as strong but still four minutes apart), I spent most of my day “contracting.”

Daniel was working from home today, and he decided I really should call the doctor (and we knew the doctor would say to go to triage). So there we were. Again.

We asked our friend Bill, who is working on his dissertation, to come over and sit in the living room during the kids’ naps, which he most graciously did. . .

I know I’m emotional with pregnancy and all, but I really had a hard time putting the kids down for their naps and saying good-by. I was afraid they were going to increase my procardia (like they did with Micah), and it would do nothing for my contractions, but I would have blood pressure issues, and they would have to keep me on the Mom Unit (like they did with Micah).

Once my now-19-month-old Micah was in bed, I sang to him “Great is Thy Faithfulness” (more for me than for him) and then he held up one finger like he does everytime I put him to bed these days, and said, “Muh mo’.” [one more] So I sang one more. He did it again, and I had to say ‘That’s all, buddy. I know you’d have me sing all day long if you could.’

When we got to the hospital, Daniel insisted on pushing me up to Labor and Delivery in a wheelchair, despite the fact that I felt like a total wimp. I said I was pretty sure I could walk, and if I walked, the nurses would have adequate proof that I really was having a lot of contractions. He said we weren’t trying to impress the nurses with how many contractions I was having. I knew he was right–if I had walked, I’m sure my contractions would have just multiplied. He’s a good husband–he’s just what I need.

There were no beds available in triage when I arrived, so we were sent to the waiting room with a huge crowd of people awaiting news on a set of triplets that was to be born that day. Apparently the mom had chosen not to find out whether the babies were boys or girls! (Can you imagine? They had picked out three boys’ names and three girls’ names and were waiting to see what she delivered! Daniel said to me, “With all the logistical challenges in having triplets, why would you add one more by not finding out what they were?” So if we ever have triplets, you know we’ll be finding out whether they are boys or girls or a combination.)

When I did get a bed in “LD,” it was the same old routine: urine sample, hospital gown, cervical exam, various swabs/samples, blood drawn, IV fluids, monitoring the baby’s heart rate, my heart rate, and my contractions. My contractions were steady, 2-3 minutes apart, but varied in intensity. I think they felt worse because I hadn’t slept much last night–I felt nauseous and yucky–and I didn’t know if that was just fatigue or the ever-illusive “something different.”

The nurse practitioner checked my cervix and said, “It’s a loose one.” But it’s still a one, which means after all these contractions, I’ve had basically no cervical change! That was just not the case with Micah. But with Micah they had also waited to put me on any tocolytics until I was already 3 cm and 70% effaced. I’m sure it helps that I’ve been on progesterone for 12 weeks now and procardia for about 2-1/2 weeks.

While they monitored me and waited for results of the fetal fibronectin test, Daniel and I discussed baby names. Unfortunately, I can’t discuss what we discussed, but it was really one of the first opportunities we’ve had to sit and go through names together. I was glad I had made a list, glad Daniel brought his laptop (with my list on it). And surprised by the names he liked and didn’t like. There was one name–a beautiful name–from my list that Daniel contemplated for about half an hour. I was beginning to think it would be Little Boo’s name! While Googling the names’ meaning/ trendiness/ etc, Daniel learned something that completely ruled the name out for him. For one reason or another, every name was scratched off my list. And when Daniel began suggesting new names, there were none that really “grabbed” both of us.

In the end, we arrived back at the name we’ve been contemplating–but got hung up on the spelling. (And no, it doesn’t begin with an ‘M.’ But that’s the only hint I’m giving!) It is still not set in stone, because both of us have a pretty strong opinion on how we’ve “always envisioned” spelling it. We may have to scrap the name altogether and start over.

But I was encouraged that we had the chance to discuss names. Probably we will settle on something soon, and she won’t spend her first three days nameless as Micah did!

My favorite news of the day was that the fetal fibronectin test came back negative again. That means there’s a 99% chance I will not deliver before two weeks from today (almost 35 weeks!). I was so excited that I told Daniel I was going to take myself off bedrest to celebrate! A 35-weeker sounds great to me! At that point, most of the lung development issues are resolved, and many babies can suck well enough at that point that they wouldn’t need tube feeds.

Of course, I was kidding about taking myself off bedrest. But comments like that always scare Daniel. (Sorry dear! Didn’t mean to–I’m just excited!) He started asking me questions like ‘What are the characteristics of the 1% that does deliver within two weeks? Do they have all your symptoms? It seems like you’re in the 1% on everything else–why should this be different?’

The question remained: What to do with all these contractions? Supposedly I’m on–not one, but two–drugs that should be keeping me from contracting.

Marianne, the nurse practitioner, asked about my progesterone and procardia dosage, then went to consult with Dr. C. We overheard the entire conversation.

“She’s contracting like crazy,” we heard her say. “But she’s still only a one.” Marianne recommended terbutaline, which I had read is the tocolytic most commonly given to stop preterm labor. I remembered one of my favorite preemie-mom-bloggers, Heather Spohr from The Spohrs Are Multiplying, being given terbutaline for preterm contractions.

I always wondered why I was given the procardia (nifedipine) instead during both pregnancies. Dr. C approved the terbutaline, so Marianne came to tell me more. It’s a drug that is commonly given orally to treat asthma, by dilating air passages in the lungs. In pregnant patients, terbutaline is injected into the arm and apparently reduces contractions by relaxing the muscles in the uterus. She told us side effects include: tremors, nausea, nervousness, dizziness, headache, drowsiness, heartburn, heart palpitations, fast heart rate, and elevated blood pressure. [Oooo, elevated blood pressure! So between procardia lowering my blood pressure and terbutaline elevating it, my blood pressure should be completely normal, right?] She said the primary feelings patients describe are heart palpitations, shakiness/the “jitters,” and headaches.

Honestly, as she described it to me, I was skeptical. I’m on bedrest. Progesterone. And procardia. They’re not working. Sure, add some terbutaline. It can’t hurt, right?

I think she could read me.

She insisted that it works really fast–within 20 minutes–and added, “It’s really good stuff! . . . I mean, it’s not crack. . .”

Oh, good.

I wish I had taken a picture of the contraction monitor! The graph displayed a constant stream of “hills” and “valleys” with each contraction 2-3 minutes apart. Then suddenly I was given my shot of terbutaline, and the graph literally flat-lined.

I was in awe. I did not know that a drug like this existed! (Although I have to say, my heart racing and jitters felt a lot like the side effects of an epi pen administration. And I came home with a headache–but very few contractions.)

Marianne told us it isn’t a “permanent” fix, but at least, we were able to stop my contractions one more time and buy our Little Boo a few more days, or maybe even weeks. She said we did the right thing coming in and she promised Dr. C that I was “very reliable, and she was sure I would come right back if there was anything unusual.”

I nodded heartily in agreement, while Daniel made some comment about having to twist my arm to get me up here. (Shhh! I want to go home tonight and see our kids!!)

So the combination of the negative result on my fetal fibronectin test and my very positive response to the terbutaline, was enough for Dr. C, who said I could go home.

Personally I think they needed my bed there in triage. There were more pregnant women in the waiting room.

And I was most willing to give it up!

When we got home, Mara greeted me with the most enthusiastic tears of joy imaginable from a three-year-old. Daniel’s mom said she had a hard time when she woke up, dealing with the fact that I was in the hospital again. I guess Micah handled it much better. While Mara hugged me (and wouldn’t let go), Micah hugged Daddy’s legs saying “Dadda!” I guess he knew he should be hugging somebody at that moment.

I’m still pinching myself. I really expected them to try increasing my procardia, and then (when that didn’t work) to keep me, at least overnight. I really didn’t expect a single shot to knock out my contractions. And I really expected to go to bed without my dear family tonight.

“It’s not crack,” but it’s pretty amazing, that terbutaline!

Today is the day gestationally (in my last pregnancy) that Micah was born.

I told Daniel this last night, and he found it disturbing: “Really?! YIKES!”

I thought it was encouraging–a positive thing! I mean, I’m hardly even dilated this time (every woman who has had  a baby before is currently 1 cm, right?). And while I am contracting, on progesterone, procardia and bedrest, at least I’m not in the hospital like I was before Micah was born.

I’m not thinking our little girl will make it to her due date (March 6th), but every day from this point on is an “extra” day that she’s growing and developing in the womb, where she belongs right now, instead of in the NICU.

So I have to say, today was a big milestone for Little Boo and me!

Anyway. . . my 32-week appointment!

Amazingly, I am still 1 cm!  I really couldn’t believe it.

Over the past few weeks, the idea at every appointment (or triage visit or hospital stay) has been ‘let’s see how we can manage these contractions and try to keep the baby inside as many more days as we can.’  Today the tone of my appointment was completely different. We’re not talking days now, we’re talking weeks. In fact, Dr. Z told me she was optimistic that if my “cervix continues to behave, maybe we can make it to week 37!”

This is the first talk of “week 37.” This is the first time the obs have discussed coming off bedrest, progesterone or procardia.

This is a stage I never experienced with Micah. With Micah’s pregnancy, we knew he would be premature, it was just a matter of how premature. I never asked about coming off bedrest or procardia–I clung to them as the only hope for keeping my child inside–growing stronger and staying healthy.

So mentally, this is a shift for me.

Someone from church wrote to ask what help we could use with meals and childcare, so Daniel asked me to write up a schedule for the next four weeks (Four weeks!) of who is helping which days and determine when we have gaps.

Today we found out that Daniel’s boss granted permission to work from home two days/week, which will be a huge blessing. But obviously he will technically still be working, right? so it would still be best for me to have some help for a couple of hours on those days.

We’re working the schedule out.

I told my Due Date Buddy Donna that we should team up and write a book: On Surviving Bedrest. Maybe in four weeks I’ll have this thing figured out. Ha!

That said, I have to be careful. I’m feeling so encouraged, but I need to remember how much worse my contractions were before bedrest and procardia. There are no guarantees.

But I am starting to imagine what it’s like to room with your baby after she’s born, to nurse her right away, to bring her home when you leave the hospital. . . it all seems a bit too good to be true! I think I may need to pack a diaper bag and have the carseat ready!

For now, I’m just taking one day at a time. On bedrest. For the Little Boo.

But I’m asking myself, is the tide turning? Is this the week where we begin to see a marked difference between my pregnancy with Little Q (Micah) and my pregnancy with Little Boo? . . . only time will tell.

There are times when bedrest is very difficult, but having a child in the NICU (especially with other toddlers at home) is far beyond the “difficulty” that is bedrest. So I am trying to be thankful for bedrest.

From now through January 22, I’m “holding my breath” because Dr. Smith, our perinatologist, told us that most “repeat” preemie births occur within one week on either side of the first preemie birth. So the chances are, if I were to deliver Little Boo prematurely, she would come between now and January 22.

January 15th will be an exciting milestone: the “WooHOO!-She-Made-It-Further-Than-Micah” Day. So in some ways, this is a big week for us.

My next appointment is Monday. By that time (in Micah’s pregnancy), I was 70% effaced, and 3 cm dilated. So I’m very very curious whether Dr. Z will notice any cervical changes tomorrow.

I have to admit a bit of nervousness, though, because I was hospitalized during that week of Micah’s pregnancy. And while I will take my overnight bag, just in case, I really really really hope I will just be coming back home again–on bedrest.

Isn’t it weird how your perspective can change with the circumstances? A month ago, I was dreading bedrest. Now I’m praying that’s all it will be!

Having a three-year-old daughter with you when you’re on bedrest isn’t all that bad. (It’s the 19-month-old boy I struggle to keep entertained.)

My daughter is forever running into my bedroom, saying, “Mommy, can we do some fun things together?”

And by “fun things” she is referencing the stack of kids’ stuff next to my bed. In that stack I keep things Mara and I can do together while I lay in my bed. (Unfortunately, I have found nothing that Micah and I can do together to add to the stack.)

We have:

• A feltboard: Aunt Darla gave Mara and Micah FeltTales Busy Day at the Farm Story Board for Christmas. This is a great toy for preschoolers! Mara calls it her “cardboard,” and every day she asks, “Can we play with the cardboard?” She pretends the kids are going apple picking; milking the cow (then feeding the cow its own milk out of the pail!); planting the garden; playing with the other farm animals . . . I think it would be a great “travel” toy too. We may bring it next summer when we drive to Florida for my sister’s wedding.
• Candyland: I got this game at the thrift store for 99 cents, in great condition, and it was one of Mara’s Christmas presents too. She is just barely old enough to play this game. It took her awhile to understand that you have to take the top card off the pile (you can’t go through the pile and pick) and that your goal is getting to the Candy Castle–not drawing cards with candy on them, regardless of how far they set you back.
• Memory: Another Christmas present Mara received, conveniently packaged as a hard plastic “book” that can be stored on a shelf. She does pretty well with this game. (I think all kids have to be reminded they can only turn over two cards on their turn, even if they suddenly remember where the match is.) I’m considering dividing the game in half until she’s a little older, because with 72 cards, the game takes a long time and she’s usually yawning halfway through. We have yet to complete an entire game.
• Little Bear and Dress-up Clothes: She was given a little bear with three outfits: cheerleader, cowboy and angel. She loves dressing and undressing the bear, but she can’t do it all by herself, so it’s perfect for both of us sitting on the bed and whenever she needs help, I’m right there.
• Bible Story Books: Mara considers it a special treat to read Bible stories and sing songs together. So I keep those by the bed too. We are flying through the book right now, because we have so much time for reading right now!
• Charts: Mara practices ABCs (letters and sounds) every day. We usually do Bible stories and charts for the first 20 – 30 minutes of Micah’s nap; then Mara goes down for her nap too. She loves doing “charts.” One day I heard her say, “Daddy! Maybe today I can teach you charts!” and she did. He said she got almost all the letters right, except she sometimes mixes up “U,” “V,” and “W.” Daniel would tease her and say, “‘A’ says ‘Buh-Bear’,” and of course Mara would correct him with the right sounds.
• Stickers/Coloring
• Many, many other books: Reading is probably Mara’s favorite pastime!
• Brain Quest for ages 2-3: I was given Deck 3 by a freecycler. I wish I had the next level (Brain Quest for Threes), because Mara whips right through this one, and I think she will get bored with it after a couple times through it. But she enjoys answering the questions and she has learned several things going through it. We use it as a springboard to discuss new concepts (like beavers, building a campfire, or different kinds of insects).
• Girly Stuff: Once a day Mara gets a squirt of body spray (Bath & Body Works’ Black Raspberry Vanilla), and we lotion our hands and put on chapstick. Mara loves girly stuff!

In just a few short weeks (weeks, not days, right??) Mara’s little sister will be born, and we will not have nearly so much time to spend together. So when Mara says, “Can we do fun things together?” I treasure those times!

And if any readers have ideas of “fun things” a 19-month-old boy would enjoy doing while Mom’s on bedrest, I’m all ears! I would love to spend more one-on-one time with him too before this baby comes.

So, tonight, after I turned out Mara’s light, I said, “Nite-nite, sweetie. I had fun with you today.”

Mara said, “Thank you for playing CandyLand with me! It’s fun doing lots of things when you’re on bedrest.” 

That made my day.

Donna and I were in college together. Started the same year. Sat out of college to work our second year. Returned to college the same year. Worked as RA’s together in our college dorm. While she was interior design and I was accounting/journalism, we bonded through our RA experiences. We graduated the same time. Went to the same church in South Carolina for about seven years after college. We were in each other’s weddings. In fact, in addition to being a bridesmaid, she also did my flowers–my wedding bouquet and the topper for our wedding cake! All that to say, she’s a dear, dear friend.

She knows a thing or two about preemies and bedrest as well. In 2003, her son was born premature (due to PPROM) at 31 weeks. He spent five weeks in the NICU, although today he is perfectly healthy, and you’d never guess! In 2006, she was on bedrest with her second pregnancy because of preterm labor. I was with her in the hospital when she went into active labor at 34 weeks (her husband, a pilot, was out of town). Somehow with medications, they held off her labor until exactly 37 weeks, when she delivered her second son full-term!

Here’s where our stories merge again. On baby #3, she is (like me) . . .

• Having a girl this time
• Having a lot of contractions, especially anytime she is going out shopping or on her feet for long periods of time
• Spending a lot of time with the Maternal Fetal Medicine people
• Having a lot of similar tests: like FFN (like me, still coming back negative so far) and ultrasounds monitoring the baby and her cervical changes
• Rejoicing in similarities: our same-day ultrasounds a week ago Thursday, indicated weight estimates of 3 lbs. 13 ozs (my girl) and 3 lbs. 10 ozs. (her girl)
• Puzzling over similarities (like awhile back, when both of our cervical lengths went up from 3.1 to 3.9! How weird and crazy is that?!)
• Struggling with the same question of when to call the doctor when you have contractions all the time? and what is that illusive “something different” that they keep telling us we’re looking for?
• And, craziest of all, she is due the same day I am! (Although neither of us have plans to actually deliver in March, we will both be happy if our girls wait until at least February.)

Unbelievable!

When we first discussed our pregnancies, I quipped, “We should have a race to see who can keep the baby inside the longest!”

She said, “Yes, but what would the prize be?”

I couldn’t believe she had to ask. Incredulous, I replied: “Being the mom without the NICU baby!!!!” But on further reflection, I thought, “That’s really unfair to the other mom, who honestly would have no way of keeping her baby out of the NICU.”

Unlike me, Donna is not on bedrest, which both of us consider absolutely miraculous, given her history with her previous two pregnancies. I fully expected her to “beat me” to bedrest! She also is not on progesterone or procardia this time, as she prefers more natural methods whenever possible. She is also (unlike me) hoping to deliver with a midwife, if all goes well.

Donna called me again Friday morning after her latest materal fetal medicine appointment.

I can’t explain how much I enjoy talking to her about our pregnancies.

Donna understands the difficulty of caring for toddlers and the struggles of maintaining a house while on bedrest. She did that with her second pregnancy. She understands the challenges and risks a NICU baby (and NICU parents) are facing. But she’s come through and she’s seen God’s grace in her own life and the life of her family. And she always points me back to Him. There’s no sense of pity or despair: it’s just where we’re at right now. Right now, there are very few people I can talk with that way!

It’s kind of like when I was studying for the CPA exam:

There were people who pitied me and said ‘oh I’ve heard how terrrrrrible that exam is! Good luck studying, and I hope you ever get your life back since no one people actually passes it the first time.’  (Oh the drama.)

Then there were people who had no clue what the exam was like, and would say things like ‘yeah, I’m thinking of starting a lemonade stand, so I’m studying too.’ Okay, no one actually said that, but my point is their comments told you they had absolutely no idea what was involved in becoming a CPA!

But when I talked to my peers (those taking the review course two nights a week from July – November, while working crazy hours starting out at the CPA firm, those spending most every weeknight and most of their weekends studying instead of hanging out with college friends), those were the people I could really talk to. Half of the conversations (that I had with everyone else) went unsaid, because I didn’t have to explain–we were in it together. And they understood.

So when Donna and I talk, we understand because we’ve both been there, and we both could potentially be facing many of the same circumstances all over again.

We share test results, and we don’t have to explain what the test is for or what the results mean, because we both have them. We compare notes from our appointments. We laugh over our husbands’ responses to everything going on. Together we are thankful for husbands that provide for us, care for us, jump right in to help whenever the contractions get more intense–and sometimes even protect us from ourselves (Donna’s husband told her a few weeks ago, ‘if the doctor doesn’t put you on bedrest, I will.’).

It’s always such an encouragement to talk to someone whose been there, and is walking much the same path right now, looking to God for His grace and strength each step of the way!

Next call: Monday morning, after my appointment. Can’t wait!

My mother-in-law came over to watch the children around 8:30 and she ended up staying all day. She is super-busy with piano teaching and her other jobs, so it meant a lot to me that she gave so much of her time for us today. She always says that she wants to do it (and I know she does!), but I also know what a sacrifice it can be to give your time when the schedule is very full.

In addition to feeding, playing with and reading to the children, my mother-in-law cleaned up the kitchen, did our laundry, made a chicken-and-pasta casserole for dinner with the leftover chicken we had, vacuumed the dog hair off the basement steps, and completely washed the kids’ high chair and booster seat (which any mom knows can become filthy really fast when you’re not wiping them down all the time!).

Another friend, Jessica, had offered to come over and help with cleaning in the afternoon. Jessica and I aren’t super-close–in fact, she’s never been to our house before–so I’ll admit feeling a little awkward having someone I didn’t know all that well over and asking them to clean my bathroom!

My mother-in-law suggested I give her a list of things that need to be done, and tell her she could just pick which things she would like to do or prefer to do, and let her know whatever she chooses is fine.

So I made my list:

Jessica was here from 12:30 – 3:00, and WOW, she was a hard worker! I don’t know if you can tell by looking at this picture, but every single item is checked off the list! She was amazing! I really had no expectations of the entire list being completed. I thought if she gets the bathroom cleaned, or a couple floors swept and mopped, that would be great. But what a surprise!

I can’t tell you how exciting it was to have all clean laundry. Or to look under the piano bench and see freshly-mopped hardwoods, rather than dog hair. To have a clean bathtub for the kids’ Saturday baths! To look out the living room window from my bedrest couch, and see–not the window with its fingerprints and Micah’s tongue-prints from his hours of snow-watching–but instead to look merely through the window and see the blue sky and this morning’s fresh snow blanketing the houses across the street!

One of the biggest challenges on bedrest is to be content with just the basics getting done–childcare, food, laundry–knowing all the while, that when it’s all over, you’ll be picking up all the pieces yourself, while you adjust to a new baby.

I have two reasons for posting this today:

First, I’m so grateful to Christ for His body of believers that surrounds us in our times of need. For people who are the “hands of Christ” to someone (me) who can’t even clean her house or do her own laundry–even though, trust me, I would prefer to do it myself! Thank you, God! and thank you, family and friends!

Second, I just want to encourage any readers out there: Do you know someone on bedrest? or for that matter, anyone needing help for a variety of reasons (maybe an older person, maybe someone recovering from surgery, maybe a mom whose husband is deployed overseas, or someone caring for a family member in the hospital)? Don’t underestimate the blessing you can be, by offering to bring a meal, do a load of laundry, wash the bathtub, or wipe a window clean.

On Monday I had my after-discharge-from-the-hospital-checkup with Dr. C. I’ve only seen him once before, and I have to say it was like seeing a completely different doctor. I don’t know if I caught him on a terribly busy day the first time or what, but he hardly looked up from my chart–he stood against the counter facing the wall, and in the two minutes he spent with me, I think he turned slightly toward me a total of 3 times (one of those to listen to the heartbeat).

This time he was amazing! Very thorough. Super friendly. Telling me “we’re here 24-7 and I want you to call anytime you have a concern!”

After getting out of the hospital, I did have a couple concerns.

Disclaimer: If you’re a guy or if you hate it when women discuss pregnancy stuff openly, this post isn’t for you. You should definitely skip the rest of this post. It is just TMI and will probably gross you out. It would have definitely grossed me out before children! But I’m here on bedrest, blogging–about bedrest. So (Warning!) there may be a few posts like this over the next few weeks.

I keep googling “procardia side effects” and “17p hydroxyprogesterone side effects” and “labor after progesterone shots” and “pregnancy after preemie” to learn about other women’s experiences, so I figure maybe someday, it may actually interest (and possibly even benefit?) someone in the same circumstance. I don’t know. But I hope so!

As I was saying . . .

First, on Saturday, I had a bit of “bloody show.” Not a huge amount, but what I remembered early on the morning that Micah was born (when I was over 5 cm dilated), which made me a little nervous. My contractions were not increasing though, in either intensity or frequency (as they were when Micah came). So I decided labor couldn’t really be progressing and maybe it was due to my cervical exam on Thursday.

Second, in the early hours of Monday morning, I woke up with severe nausea and diarrhea. It was horrible. I never actually threw up, but I was sitting there on the toilet heaving and holding the trash can because the nausea was so strong. None of my family was sick; and we had all eaten the same things on Sunday, so I ruled out food poisoning and stomach flu. I’d been struggling with the opposite problem (constipation) because of my progesterone, so this experience was definitely “something different.” I couldn’t sleep for about two hours. Again, my contractions were pretty normal (for me): several each hour, but nothing increasing in intensity or frequency. After about two hours, I felt well enough to go back to sleep. So I decided to wait and tell the doctor in the morning. But this was another symptom that was similar to the morning-of-delivery with both Mara and Micah.

As far as the nausea and diarrhea, Dr. C laughed when I said I was on both progesterone and procardia. He said, “You’re on progesterone and procardia?? That’ll mess you up!”

Thanks, Doc.

Then he added, after the constipation, this must be a welcome change, right?! Riiiight! (Hear my sarcasm, PLEASE!)

He said between pregnancy and medications, he would guess my body is just a bit out of sorts, trying to figure all this out. I can accept that I’m definitely out of sorts these days.

Little Boo’s head is still down (still pulling for a VBAC!!) and Dr. C said the “station” was -2, up from -1, which the resident told me last week. Isn’t it supposed to go the other direction? I guess that’s good news. The baby is now farther away from delivery (yay!).  I don’t know if that tells me anything at all, or just that the whole cervical exam is pretty subjective.

Dr. C said I was still at 1 cm, which was very encouraging! It seems unreal to me, during every cervical exam, when they say “1 cm” because as many contractions as I have had every day for almost two months, it seems like we would definitely be seeing some dilation going on! (Not that I’m complaining!–Just surprised–every time!) The real test will be next week–the week I was 3 cm with Micah. . . if I am still 1 cm, then all the progesterone, procardia and bedrest will really be paying off!

Dr. C did say however, “I wouldn’t say you’re 100% effaced, but once you start dilating, you’re pretty much effaced.” (How do you translate that comment into a percentage? I took it to mean I’m almost completely effaced.) Which indicated some progress since last week at Thursday’s cervical exam when I asked about effacement, and the resident said, “Nope, you’re still nice and long.” The change in effacement could explain my concern about the “show.”

Dr. C said the 1 cm was what he was most concerned about at this point. No dilation since I left the hospital. So they will see me every week from here on out, and they’ll be doing a cervical exam each time.

Like all the obs, he said I need to be looking for “something different” and calling if I have any concerns, because I’m already experiencing such frequent contractions that I can’t really use that to determine when to go to the hospital.

“I imagine you’ll be making a couple more trips up to the hospital before you actually deliver,” he added.

While that’s not particularly encouraging, at least we know: they’re expecting to see a lot of me!

I’m still left with the daily dilemmas of bedrest: How many contractions is too many? How close together is too close? And: was that just a side effect of a medication? or was that “something different”?

Time will tell. For now, we are taking one day at a time.

Thankful to be at week 31 and counting . . .