Immediately after typing those words, I opened my e-mail to read these words from Kandice’s mom today: “Heaven is rejoicing, but we are missing her.  We will write more later but for now, be encouraged that she is dancing with her Savior and worshipping Him face to face. ”

I was completely unprepared for this news. Kandice was the same age as my “little” brother Jon. Growing up, they were in the same homeschool group, and she and my brother performed lead roles together in plays Kandice’s mom directed.

She was a beautiful 28-year-old girl, both inside and out. She was preparing to give her life in God’s service by going to Central Asia as a missionary, until April 2009, when she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. In her CaringBridge blog, called “My Detour,” she expressed an amazing love for God and an unusual faith-filled confidence in His promises.

“Keep in touch as we see God’s plan in this unfold,” she wrote in her background story. “His plans and ways and thoughts are so much higher than ours. This may be a shock to us, but my God knows exactly where this detour is headed.”

It’s hard to comprehend that right now she is worshipping our Lord face to face. That was His plan in all this.

Her faith is now sight! What a blessed reality! No pain. No suffering or sorrow. No sin. Only unspeakable joy in the light of the glory of our great God.

I went about my day, caring for three small children, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and finally getting a haircut.

Kandice passed into the presence of our glorious Lord, set free from the pain of cancer, and spent her day singing praise around His throne!

I grieve for her dear family and friends, but I rejoice with Kandice.

Here is an excerpt from her last blog post, Wednesday, July 21, 2010. . .

“‘Do you not know?  Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the end of the earth.  He will not grow tired and weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint.’ [quoting Isaiah]

“Last week I had strength enough to do what was truly important.  I did not grow weary like I should have, I did not stumble, but everyday my energy was new with the sunrise and I walked upright through it all.

“Thanks for your prayers…there is power in the faith of a mustard seed.  The love of God continues to surprise me…I pray that it surprises you in your life too this week.”

Or working on Capitol Hill.

Or playing a violin.

Or flying a plane. . .

But my hair is 10 inches shorter today, after growing it out for about 18 months! I’m donating my hair for wigs for cancer patients, something I’ve wanted to do as long as I can remember. (If you’re interested in donating, click here. This website lists links to several websites of organizations that handle hair donation for wigs.)

And I was amazed that after cutting off ten inches of hair (yes, it really was ten inches) . . .

There was still plenty of hair left in back for a cut that I was very pleased with!

I love getting a drastic haircut now and then! And short hair is great for the summer. Thanks, Becky! (Salon Becky–not to be confused with Me Becky.)

I am donating my hair in honor of two very special cancer survivors: Kandice Robinson and Kristi English.

If it’s a particularly high or persistent fever, I may find myself calling the pediatrician or the pharmacist to determine how much tylenol or ibuprofen to give.

Dr. Sears wrote a very helpful post about the use of acetaminophen, which you can read here. With the simple equation “7 milligrams per pound of bodyweight,” you can determine exactly what dose your child needs. This Works for Me!

He even discussed if (and when) you can double up on the tylenol for a really high fever and alternating between tylenol and ibuprofen in an effort to reduce a stubborn fever.

The most helpful part of his column is a Dosage Chart which lists weight in the left-hand column, and then showing the milligrams needed and the “translation” for infant drops, children’s liquid, and children’s soft chewables.

Yesterday I checked this chart to see how much tylenol Carissa should have after her shots. (I have copied a portion of Dr. Sears’ chart below.)

Carissa is 15 lbs., 4 ozs., so I gave her 1 dropper (.8ml).

With three under four, I know I will be referring back to this chart often!

Certainly one of my favorite things was the butterfly garden outside our cabin. Of course, we saw flowers–every color imaginable, as well as bumble bees, hummingbirds, caterpillars, butterflies. And Mara asked me what all the drops of water on the grass were–she learned about the morning dew!

My pictures don’t do it justice, but here are a few snapshots:

Though it is not completely Wordless, I’m linking up to Wordless Wednesday today!

She did great for her shots. She cried literally 3 seconds after the second needle–only till I lifted her to my shoulder.

This, after all, is the baby who smiles when you aspirate her nose.  You have to wonder about a kid like that!

I’m so very grateful! Especially after Micah–what a screamer! Hours of screaming each night for the first 4 months–with strangers (well-meaning, I suppose) telling me how they would never “let” a child cry that way. . . What a relief to have such a very happy child!

“I find that, typically, the personality that you see at four months is the personality you’re going to see through the teen years,” the pediatrician remarked. “Not always. But typically. If you have a really picky, easily irritated four-month-old, you’ll probably see a particular teenager. If you have a easygoing, happy four month old, you’ll probably have a teenager like that too.”

I’m sure that’s a generalization, but hey, I’d love to have a happy, easygoing teenage girl!

I’m SO. VERY. Grateful for this little girl!

• 

  When Jesus Isn’t Enough – We Are THAT Family - “When I sat in his closet-sized home in the middle of Africa, I couldn’t take my eyes off the pathetic interior or ignore the dripping rain on my head.”  Convicting. Compelling. Is Jesus enough for you?

• 

  AlbertMohler.com – Why Are Parents So Unhappy? And Who Would Settle for Happiness, Anyway?

  “Christians must see children as gifts from God, not as projects, understanding family life as a crucible for holiness, not an experiment in happiness.” Family life is a “crucible for holiness.” Now that’s perspective!
• eJournal : For the Young Mother: Ministry, Guilt, and Seasons of Life | 9Marks

  www.9marks.org

  “Guilt is a young mother’s habitual shadow. It has a nasty way of soaking through many of her efforts at nurturing, serving and loving others. ‘Am I doing enough for my children? For others? What do they think of me? What does God think of me?’ ” – By far the most convicting article I have recently read regarding a biblical perspective on motherhood. If you only read one, read this one!

Because the week you leave, you’ll need to allow for. . .

• the pipes under your kitchen sink to burst (while you’re making dinner for company)
• your basement to flood (from the thunderstorms this week)
• your husband to strain his back working on the basement, and
• 2/3 of your children to come down with some respiratory bug that keeps even the most angelic of babies awake at night.

Oh, and there won’t be time for blogging that week either.

Reaching out to hold my hand, my two-year-old son was calling, “Mama! Dentz! Mama! Dentz!”

He wanted me to come dance with him. Someday I will have to explain how he dances–that’s another story–but for now, I’ll just say: we danced.

And as we “danced” (in the way that only my 2-year-old son dances), I sang to him: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example. In speech, in conduct, and in love, in faith and purity.”

It was a prayer from my heart.

There will be a day when he doesn’t ask Mommy to dance any more. And when that day comes, I pray that the truth of this verse will live on in his life. That he will be an example to the believers in his speech, in his conduct, his love, his faith, and (in a day in which this is so rare) in his purity.

Every single time, this particular song comes on, Micah calls, “Mama! Dentz!”

It’s our song.

Micah said he needed to go potty. I never know these days how to know whether he does or doesn’t, so I sat him there for awhile, but he never went.

We had some “sharing toys” issues to deal with, and I decided to get out the guitar for some special fun. I had to deal with Micah for some misbehavior, and Mara broke one of the guitar strings. I’m not sure how that’s even possible, unless it was strung too tightly. But in any case, I went to repair the guitar string, and while I was doing that I suddenly heard Mara shouting, “Micah has the orange one!”

At that point, I didn’t care what “orange one”–I knew that was not a positive comment–and found my son crawling under the easel with an open dry erase marker in his hand. Of course, he had marked up his shorts. So I deal with that one: google “dry erase marker stains” and start applying Murphy’s Oil Soap to his shorts. . . With a LOT of scrubbing, it worked! The dry erase marker came out! for which I was very thankful since those were his best khaki shorts!. . . I began to wonder if Murphy’s Oil Soap would work on Sharpie stains too? But I didn’t have a chance to experiment, because I heard Carissa fussing upstairs in her cradle, ready to be nursed again.

On the way, I rescued some slobbery chapstick from my son.  (Okay, it is booktime!)

Daniel and I IM’d. I told him a little about my morning (it was only about 10AM). He said, “Sounds pretty simple.  Should you leave plenty of time for pleasure reading too.” And I used to wonder what moms did with all that time!!!!!!

With the older two reading books in their beds, I got to sit and nurse my sweet Carissa and enjoy her smiles! And by the way, she turns four months old today! Happy four-month-birthday, little Carissa!

Carissa is already 3-1/2 months old, and I am realizing that I haven’t even written her “birth story” post yet!

For now, here are a few snapshots.

As you can see, she is already a thumb-sucker, despite the multiple pacifiers I have given her, determined not to have three thumb-suckers in this house at the same time.

She is also a big talker! Some babies “defer” to the others talking in the room. Not Carissa. Her little voice just grows louder and louder, determined to be recognized. When the older two are napping, Carissa is usually with me, and I enjoy her continual chatter. She is going to be quite the conversationalist!

She is such a happy little baby. She can catch my eye across the room and warm my heart with her beautiful smile. By far, she is the easiest one of my three! (I told Daniel, if Carissa had been our first, I would have wanted half a dozen!)

Carissa began sleeping 9-10 hours a night when she was five weeks old. She now sleeps about 11 hours a night! And she wakes up every morning usually around 6 AM, not crying, but cooing and smiling. Sometimes I’m not sure whether I’m hearing Carissa or Micah over the monitor in the morning.

I want to remember everything. The peach fuzz growing in, now that her baby hair fell out. (And yes, it is looking just as red as Mara’s was at this age!) I want to remember the way her hair sticks straight up after her bath. I want to remember her little auburn eyebrows that stuck straight out for weeks after her birth.

Her big blue eyes! Those long dark eyelashes. Her button nose. And chubby cheeks.

Those dimpled fingers. Dimpled elbows. The rolls on her arms and legs. (Wow!) Her belly bursting out of all her clothes. Her six-month clothes–at three months old. Her perfect little fingers and precious little toes.

All this is only the beginning. We are discovering more and more about this new little life day by day, and lovin’ every minute!

I love you so much, my Carissa Marie!

Thank you, God, for loaning this precious child to us!