The Eclectic Dabbler

My daughter Mara Joy has always been quite the conversationalist. And as the oldest child, she and I have always talked about everything.

So early on, I talked to her about God’s love for her and told her that Jesus died for her on the cross. We read Bible stories together most every day, and over the past two months or so, she has asked more and more questions and expressed her desire to go to heaven and be with Jesus. She’s asked me how she can stop doing bad things. She has told me how much she loves God and wants to obey Him. So she and I have recently had many conversations about the foundational truths of the Gospel.

Micah is also a little conversationalist–It’s just that I can’t understand 90% of his jabber yet! Plus his attention span is much shorter. His questions much less complex. In fact, while he often asks to pray (several times throughout the same meal and other random times), I don’t know that He’s ever said ‘God’ or ‘Jesus’ at all. I have often prayed for him, told him how much God loves him, and how I pray that he will grow to be a man that loves God more than anything else. But I don’t think I’ve shared the Gospel with him in a deeper way.

That’s okay–his sister did! The other night at dinner, I just listened to this (one-sided) conversation between my three-year-old daughter and her 20-month-old brother:

“Jesus loves you, Micah, and He died for you on the cross. And we want you to love God and obey God, but you do lots of bad things. But God will still love you, even though you do bad things.”

I don’t know how much (if any) of this Micah was really comprehending, but I was amused that her intensity in conversation was matched by his intensity in expression: his jaw literally hung open as he sat there in his high chair, listening to her soliloquy.

“This is really important, Micah,” she finished.

Up until this point, I sat silently, wondering how she would explain these truths, and marveling at the ease with which she shared them.

Then Mara turned to me: “I told Micah all about God. And I started with the Bible.”

Today the Lord encouraged my heart that perhaps someday He will use my little “disciple” to reach others for Him!  I pray that these truths will be real in Mara’s heart–not just reciting things she’s heard–and that her life (along with her words) will continue to point her younger siblings to Christ!

For Works for Me Wednesday, here are a few ideas from my current experience involving toddlers & bedrest (What a challenging combo, let me tell you!). I’ve listed some ideas that have worked with my three-year-old daughter–and a plea for help with my 19-month-old son! Please comment–for my sanity and his!

Having a three-year-old daughter with you when you’re on bedrest isn’t all that bad. (It’s the 19-month-old boy I struggle to keep entertained.)

My daughter is forever running into my bedroom, saying, “Mommy, can we do some fun things together?”

And by “fun things” she is referencing the stack of kids’ stuff next to my bed. In that stack I keep things Mara and I can do together while I lay in my bed. (Unfortunately, I have found nothing that Micah and I can do together to add to the stack.)

We have:

• A feltboard: Aunt Darla gave Mara and Micah FeltTales Busy Day at the Farm Story Board for Christmas. This is a great toy for preschoolers! Mara calls it her “cardboard,” and every day she asks, “Can we play with the cardboard?” She pretends the kids are going apple picking; milking the cow (then feeding the cow its own milk out of the pail!); planting the garden; playing with the other farm animals . . . I think it would be a great “travel” toy too. We may bring it next summer when we drive to Florida for my sister’s wedding.
• Candyland: I got this game at the thrift store for 99 cents, in great condition, and it was one of Mara’s Christmas presents too. She is just barely old enough to play this game. It took her awhile to understand that you have to take the top card off the pile (you can’t go through the pile and pick) and that your goal is getting to the Candy Castle–not drawing cards with candy on them, regardless of how far they set you back.
• Memory: Another Christmas present Mara received, conveniently packaged as a hard plastic “book” that can be stored on a shelf. She does pretty well with this game. (I think all kids have to be reminded they can only turn over two cards on their turn, even if they suddenly remember where the match is.) I’m considering dividing the game in half until she’s a little older, because with 72 cards, the game takes a long time and she’s usually yawning halfway through. We have yet to complete an entire game.
• Little Bear and Dress-up Clothes: She was given a little bear with three outfits: cheerleader, cowboy and angel. She loves dressing and undressing the bear, but she can’t do it all by herself, so it’s perfect for both of us sitting on the bed and whenever she needs help, I’m right there.
• Bible Story Books: Mara considers it a special treat to read Bible stories and sing songs together. So I keep those by the bed too. We are flying through the book right now, because we have so much time for reading right now!
• Charts: Mara practices ABCs (letters and sounds) every day. We usually do Bible stories and charts for the first 20 – 30 minutes of Micah’s nap; then Mara goes down for her nap too. She loves doing “charts.” One day I heard her say, “Daddy! Maybe today I can teach you charts!” and she did. He said she got almost all the letters right, except she sometimes mixes up “U,” “V,” and “W.” Daniel would tease her and say, “‘A’ says ‘Buh-Bear’,” and of course Mara would correct him with the right sounds.
• Stickers/Coloring
• Many, many other books: Reading is probably Mara’s favorite pastime!
• Brain Quest for ages 2-3: I was given Deck 3 by a freecycler. I wish I had the next level (Brain Quest for Threes), because Mara whips right through this one, and I think she will get bored with it after a couple times through it. But she enjoys answering the questions and she has learned several things going through it. We use it as a springboard to discuss new concepts (like beavers, building a campfire, or different kinds of insects).
• Girly Stuff: Once a day Mara gets a squirt of body spray (Bath & Body Works’ Black Raspberry Vanilla), and we lotion our hands and put on chapstick. Mara loves girly stuff!

In just a few short weeks (weeks, not days, right??) Mara’s little sister will be born, and we will not have nearly so much time to spend together. So when Mara says, “Can we do fun things together?” I treasure those times!

And if any readers have ideas of “fun things” a 19-month-old boy would enjoy doing while Mom’s on bedrest, I’m all ears! I would love to spend more one-on-one time with him too before this baby comes.

So, tonight, after I turned out Mara’s light, I said, “Nite-nite, sweetie. I had fun with you today.”

Mara said, “Thank you for playing CandyLand with me! It’s fun doing lots of things when you’re on bedrest.” 

That made my day.

It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my Mom and Dad. But they live in South Dakota, so it’s not as if we could make it a weekend trip–or even drive there in 12 hours . . .  or 18 . .  or 20 . . .  Well, I suppose someone has probably driven it in 20.

It’s basically two days’ drive or a lot of frequent flyer miles, which can be cost-prohibitive, especially when you’re a family of almost 5.

It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my brother and sister-in-law too. They live in South Carolina, which granted is only one days’ drive. But still.

And we got to visit my sister Mary in Florida and meet her boyfriend back in May. And Mary visited earlier this spring too. So far this year, my sister has been the only “family” I have seen. And it is now November.

But all that is about to change.

My brother & sister-in-law arrive on Thursday and get to stay for a week–until Thanksgiving Day. My sister-in-law has a professional exam here in Philly (is it the Certified Financial Planner? I need to ask her!) that weekend, so they are making a “mini-vacation” of it. She has to work the day after Thanksgiving, so we will eat Thanksgiving Dinner for lunch to get them on the road!

My sister is arriving Wednesday before Thanksgiving and staying through Saturday.

My parents are coming in Thanksgiving morning, because my dad will be preaching in South Amboy, New Jersey, on Saturday and Sunday at the church where I spent 10 of my primitive years. Then my mom will stay with us for a little over a week after that!

As I understand it, we will all be together in the same house for about 5 hours or so . . . if all goes according to plan . . . which hasn’t happened since October 2008.

I’ve told the kids about it. Mara understands. She talks to Grandma and Grandpa on Skype, and she knows they’re coming. I’m not quite sure what Micah understands yet.

But lately, he has been going over to the bookshelf, taking down the picture of my family (from our wedding) and pointing to each of the people in the picture and jabbering.

I’m not sure what he’s saying. But I tell him who each person is, and that they’re coming for a visit. And he actually looks at each person with interest.

So, wow, I will catching up with some people I love!

And my little boy, who has only met his Grandma and Grandpa once, will get to know them in a closer way than just a picture on the bookshelf.

The other day Mara asked for a “special treat” (an M&M) which are solely reserved for after she has gone potty if her underwear is dry!

She knows the policy.

When I reminded her, she ran to the stairs, and faster than ever, Mara was on the potty. Before we knew it, she was back downstairs in the dining room asking again for her special treat.

Daniel and I happened to look over at Micah. He had watched the whole interaction with great interest and was now pulling furiously on his diaper.

Completely seriously, Daniel said, “Maybe he needs to go potty too. Take him!”

I was incredulous!

“You can’t be serious! He’s not even 17 months old. Mara was several months older when she started potty training. Besides he’s a boy, and boys take longer to learn than girls do, and good grief! he can’t even feed himself out of a spoon without flinging food around the dining room! Do you really want to have to teach him about aim already? . . . ”

But Micah’s insistent pulling on his diaper won Daddy over. “At least, let him try.” Then Daniel switched his approach: “Wouldn’t it be nice to get him potty-trained before the baby comes?!”

“Oh, yes. So you take him,” I said. “I know nothing about training boys!” Naturally, I ended up taking him. I took off his diaper (which was wet) and set him on the potty.

Unlike Mara at this age, he was not at all afraid to sit there on the “big potty.” In fact, he looked quite pleased with himself. I tried my best to encourage him. But nothing happened. He just sat there. And seemed completely at peace with the whole scenario.

Then, after several seconds of sitting quietly, he reached for the toilet paper. And I realized what was happening.

He was getting himself a “special treat,” just like he had seen his big sister do, probably hundreds of times!

He hopped right off the potty, I put a clean diaper on him, and when we went back downstairs, he did exactly what I expected him to do: headed straight for the jar of Special Treats!

I gave him one anyway.

After all the trouble he went to and how perfectly he understood the routine, it seemed like he should get some sort of reward!

“He’s not ready yet,” I said to Daniel. “He wants Special Treats. Maybe you should be the stay-at-home-dad!”

Around this time of year, moms are talking about costumes and how to find what you’re looking for and still save money.

During my first three years as a mom, I have taken a different route every year as far as finding costumes, but I try to strike the balance of finding costumes I really like–while not spending a ton of money. Here are a few options I have tried:

Make your own! The first year Mara was only ten months old. I really wanted her to have a soft, baby-girl costume–I didn’t really want her to be a funky animal or some sort of hotdog with mustard, you know? And the pumpkin idea is cute, but since she had no hair, we were constantly answering the “he?-or-a-she?” question about our baby girl, and I didn’t want to look back at pumpkin baby pictures some 20 years later and say ‘was this our son or our daughter?’

I found the perfect costume in Pottery Barn Kids magazine (I included the PBK picture here)! Naturally it was $59 before tax and shipping & handling. (How is it that I have such impeccable yet unaffordable taste?!) I’m sure some people pay that much for a Halloween costume, but for us it was not an option. I don’t pay that much for my own clothes, let alone a costume a kid is going to wear once or twice!

Still I loved that costume so much that, after seeing it, no other costume seemed to even compare. Friends would find me “flower” costumes other places. None of them were quite right. So I decided to make it myself.

In the end, I spent more than I’d hoped (probably close to $20) because I had to buy several kinds of fabrics (3 kinds of fleece and lining fabric for the hood), a zipper, velcro, elastic, gingham trim, thread, and embroidery floss for the flower designs on the sleeves and the bottom of the costume. If sewing were a more regular activity in my life, I’m sure I would have had most of the supplies (other than fabric) on hand. But I was very happy with the end result.

It wasn’t the Pottery Barn costume, but I felt my daughter was beautiful in the flower I had created.

Buy on Clearance after Halloween for Next Halloween! The second year I actually found the costumes on clearance in February. They were skunk costumes–of all things–but they were 99 cents each, at The Children’s Place. I was pregnant at the time, and didn’t know yet if Micah would be a girl or a boy, but I figured it would work either way. The kids could be the “Lil’ Stinkers.”After all, the experience of having two kids 17 months apart is better reflected in the ‘lil stinkers’ idea than a beautiful flower in a garden!

My husband was mortified that I would do this to our children (I said they were still young enough that it was cute!), but it was with great reluctance that he joined the Lil’ Stinkers and me for Boo at the Zoo. (And, no, my daughter isn’t running from the camera–she’s chasing geese at the zoo–and I’m showing off the back of the 99-cent costume!)

I figured it showed that we didn’t take ourselves too seriously. I mean, come on! Is there any costume that is really “classy”? Is it classy to be a monkey? or a pirate? or a skeleton? or a witch? These are costumes!

With moving twice, being on bedrest, and having a preemie in the NICU, there was no time for sewing costumes of my choice that year. I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat. Plus their costumes cost $1.98 total! You could hardly even make something at home that inexpensively–or find it at a thrift store or a consignment sale. I’m going to try to consign them next year for a dollar or maybe two and make my money back. Then I will feel fully vindicated on the whole skunk costume issue.

Buy Costumes on eBay a Month Ahead of Time. This year, my third year, I couldn’t decide for the longest time. I wanted my husband to be happy, so I decided to get the kids something a little nicer (which is not saying much since I spent only $1.98 the year before!). That’s another story, because when I told him, he said he thought all costumes were kind of tacky and pointless . . . which was my whole point last year . . . but . . . as I was saying . . .

I checked eBay for Old Navy costumes and found Mara the kitty costume (new with tags) for $3.50 + shipping. For Micah the lion costume (excellent used condition) for $5.99 + shipping. Total I spent less than $20. Each costume individually costs more than $20 if you buy them directly from Old Navy or Old Navy.com this year. (These costume pictures are just the pictures from eBay. Hopefully after this weekend, I will have some pictures of my kids in these costumes!)

The trick with buying costumes on eBay is to start bidding in mid- to late-September or very very early October. There is usually a decent selection at that point, and if you’re willing to bid on several auctions (and lose), you will probably be able to find what you’re looking for at a reasonable price. (Those Pottery Barn costumes are always expensive though. I’ve seen sold-out PBK costumes go for $150+ on eBay during the middle of October, so if you know what you’re doing, there is probably some money to be made there!)

Now that we know our next baby is a girl, I already found her costume for next Halloween at The Children’s Place on clearance. It was $3.99 (not quite 99 cents).

It’s not a skunk.

But she will be so stinkin’ cute!!!

And Daddy will love it.

That’s all I’m saying about it now. (I have to save a little surprise for next year!)

Well, several options Work for Me as far as finding Halloween costumes and saving money . . . Find more Frugal Tips at Life as Mom.